What’s Your Happiness Ceiling?

Brought to you underneath my favorite rainbow.

Let me introduce you to the concept of the happiness ceiling. We all have one. It’s the level of happiness that you are capped at feeling. Perhaps you might reach brief elevated moments of happiness outside of your ceiling, only to dip back down and return to your “normal” happiness ceiling.

Everyone has a happiness ceiling, whether we are aware of it or not.

So, why is it that we don’t allow ourselves to feel moments of happiness or joy outside of our normal range of emotions for long periods of time?

The answer is fear. Fear of the unknown. It scares almost everyone.

When we aren’t used to feeling the emotions of happiness or joy, it can scare us when we do, either because we don't trust that the emotions will last—which actually creates a self-fulfilling prophecy—or because of the fear that something not-so-good will happen shortly after.

So why is it that we are conditioned to believe the worst and not feel elevated emotions?

Have you read the news? Just kidding...

But really, we currently live in a world where our internal senses and feelings are constantly dampened by overstimulation from cell phones, ads, social media, movies, the latest TV shows, etc. Because of all the external distractions, we aren’t able to reach our ultimate emotional potential and feel profound levels of joy or happiness, perhaps at all, or at least for long periods of time.

Whether we are unconsciously being externally overstimulated or we’re intentionally seeking it out, our modern world is essentially designed for cheap thrills, cheap dopamine hits, and ultimately, a capped happiness ceiling.

Take this moment as a simple drop of thought in your mental atmosphere to bring awareness to your happiness ceiling.

When was the last time you actually felt or allowed yourself to feel and experience true joy and happiness?

Perhaps the next time you experience moments of happiness or joy, you will start to notice that they are followed by a negative or heavier thought that brings you back down to your baseline.

This is your mind’s way of keeping you “safe” in the emotional baseline that you are used to and “comfortable” being in.

Very few people are talking about stepping outside of your comfort zone to allow yourself to actually experience true joy and happiness.

The real question is, “How good can you stand it?”

This is one of my favorite questions that my teacher Sam Bianchini asked during a retreat and it always stuck with me. And I continue to ask myself this whenever I notice an internal struggle with my own happiness ceiling.

So, the next time you feel the beautiful, elevated emotion of joy or happiness, allow yourself to feel it fully. Feel the expansion and elation within and around yourself.

And ask yourself, “How good can you stand it?”

Ready for more intellectual candy and tangible ways to expand your consciousness and happiness index?

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The Paradox of Doing

Have you ever noticed that the harder you try to do something, the longer it takes to achieve? 

Lately, I’ve been bringing a lot of awareness into the energetic difference between doing and achieving.

We often believe that in order to achieve something, we need to do, push, or hustle to get the desired outcome. 

The reality is, the more you feel you need to try hard to achieve something, the more you reinforce that belief. This perpetually creates the energy of having to push a boulder up a hill to achieve your desired outcome.

I would like to flip that narrative on its head and say the less you operate in the energy of doing, the more you can actually achieve.

The Loop of Trying

Take falling asleep as an example. The more you “try” super hard to fall asleep, you often stay in the energy of “trying” instead of actually falling asleep which keeps you further away from your desired outcome of actually sleeping. As opposed to when we release the effort around “trying” to fall asleep and simply surrender we then can usually fall asleep.

The more we try to do something, the less we actually achieve what we are trying to do.

This past year, I kept saying I was trying to travel less. Yet, ironically, I ended up traveling more. This is because I was in the energy of “trying” to receive the desired outcome of “less travel”, which kept me in the energy of trying and led to me achieve the opposite of “more travel”.

This is because the universe mirrors back to us the energy that we are in. The more we “try” for something, the more we stay in the energy of “trying”, which pushes us further away from what we desire and thus not succeeding in our desired outcome. 

The paradox is so real. 

The Universe Reflects Your Beliefs

When we believe we need to try super hard to achieve something, the universe reinforces this belief system by mirroring back to us the energy we are currently in.

The more you believe you need to try hard, the more the universe shows to you that you do need to try hard.

Versus the more you believe in ease and flow of achieving, the more the universe reflects back to you the ease and flow to achieving.

The more you “try” to make the relationship work or try to find your life partner, the more you are in the energy of “trying” instead of receiving or achieving.

The Power of Surrender

Here’s the secret: the less you try, the more to achieve. I’m not talking about zero effort. I’m saying that it is time to release yourself from the belief that you have to try super hard to make something happen.

Have you ever noticed that when you stop trying, things just seem to happen naturally? That’s because you’ve entered the energy of surrender.

Our human mind is conditioned to believe that lots of effort equals achievement but the reality is that is simply a belief. If you believe it’s true then it is. If you don’t believe it’s true, then it’s not. You see? 

Your belief system coupled with the art of surrender will actually get you closer to your desired outcome than “trying” to achieve it.

The more you surrender, the more you achieve and receive. 

Now isn’t that a beautiful belief system.

Break the Cycle

If trying for a desired outcome will only keep you in the energy of trying and creating frustration in the process which pushes you further away from the energy of receiving.

How can you switch this or what I would call reverse uno this scenario?

Step out of the cycle of trying and into the flow of achievement.

The recipe is simple.

Intention set. Take inspired action - without expectation. Then SURRENDER.

Follow what brings you joy. Pursue the things that light you up. Operate from a space of ease, and the universe will reward you with little “carrots” along the way - showing you are on the right path ultimately guiding you to achieve whatever it is that you desire.

By releasing the need to force outcomes, you create more space for ease and what you truly want to flow into your life will come easily and effortlessly.

And so it is.

Learning How to Surrender

The biggest lesson that I am learning right now is how to surrender.

This is WAY easier said than done. I actually don’t know anyone that truly knows how to surrender. Let alone have actually mastered the art of surrendering.

How many times do we try to force outcomes because we have a self-created timeline in our head? 

We live in a world that is so immediate. We want everything instantly. Money, love, success, the job, the promotion, a certain career, or even fame. 

When we don’t receive our desire instantly or we don’t receive it on the timeline that we want, we face disappointment. Didn’t get the person you wanted in love or didn’t get the job or career you wanted? Internal sadness creeps in.

Whatever it may be, it can be so challenging not to focus on the disappointment around not receiving what you long for.

The reality is, the second we shift the focus from longing (which stems from lack) to surrender, is when we make space for what we are looking and what is truly meant for us to arrive.

In order to surrender we have to release the attachment to the outcome.

How do you do this?

Truly surrendering comes down to having complete trust and faith in something unknown and greater than ourselves, as if we are simply falling into the divine plan of what we’re supposed to be doing. The art of surrendering is having complete trust and faith in the universe. That everything is lining up for you and that something even better is on its way and in its own time.

Sometimes learning to surrender can feel so challenging because the ego is learning one of it’s hardest lessons, how to stop controlling the whole universe. 

So how can you stop trying to control every aspect of your life and start to practice the art of surrender?